Appropriate humor v2.0

Post by **Rapier1772** » 20 Jan 2015, 14:07

Lightbabe doesn't do it for you? :laugh:

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 21 Jan 2015, 06:24

Rapier1772 wrote:Lightbabe doesn't do it for you? :laugh:

She's HOT!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 23 Jan 2015, 14:42

Post by **Rapier1772** » 29 Jan 2015, 19:05

This guy has the perfect "Hell yeah!" pose IMO:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 29 Jan 2015, 19:08

You can't see me, I am ninja!

Had someone say she felt like this when staying at my place:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 31 Jan 2015, 23:36

Deflate-gate. If you're a football fan you've no doubt heard the scandal about the deflated balls allegedly used by the Patriotssssssssssssssss.
Someone made of parody of AC/DC's song Big Balls for it.

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 07 Feb 2015, 07:04

The first step is to admit there's a problem I suppose...

Post by **Rapier1772** » 07 Feb 2015, 08:05

:laugh: :thumb:

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 12 Feb 2015, 07:34

Sometimes you just have to...

Post by **Ditch** » 14 Feb 2015, 15:53

Can I get these installed when I send my FiveseveN to Elite

Post by **Rapier1772** » 26 Feb 2015, 00:50

Could be you!

Why do I think this is something Cyberfly would do?

Post by **Rapier1772** » 26 Feb 2015, 00:53

Post by **Rapier1772** » 26 Feb 2015, 19:06

Post by **Cyberfly** » 26 Feb 2015, 21:47

Rapier1772 wrote: Why do I think this is something Cyberfly would do?

Uh, maybe because I HAVE! :p

Post by **blueorison** » 02 Mar 2015, 11:18

I don't think it's been warm enough in OK to do that, Fly!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 02 Mar 2015, 13:16

Maybe not now but I know it is during the summer

Oldbindlestiff · Post by **Oldbindlestiff** » 02 Mar 2015, 14:46

If the weather around Lawton is any indication, indeed it is.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 02 Mar 2015, 16:56

This one is just cool

Post by **Rapier1772** » 04 Mar 2015, 10:51

The internet strikes back.

Type in the web address "loser.com" & it redirects to kanye west's wikipedia page :lmao:

Post by **MrSlippyFist** » 04 Mar 2015, 16:45

Post by **Reverend Herc** » 06 Mar 2015, 20:04

Rapier1772 wrote:The internet strikes back.

Type in the web address "loser.com" & it redirects to kanye west's wikipedia page :lmao:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Post by **Ditch** » 10 Mar 2015, 04:37

http://www.callthecops.net/police-to-ge ... m-program/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
I like names used

Post by **Rapier1772** » 10 Mar 2015, 09:16

Cops have enough weapons of war, they don't need A-10s
Yes, I get the joke, I am trying to let it keep it going

Post by **Rapier1772** » 10 Mar 2015, 10:18

Name the animal:

Post by **Cyberfly** » 11 Mar 2015, 11:48

Rapier1772 wrote:

Ha!! That's awesome!

Rapier1772 wrote:Name the animal:

Oh, that's easy. That's the long peckered Hare. Closely related to the Easter Bunny, but he don't lay chocolate eggs.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 13 Mar 2015, 00:49

Ferguson police tweet, guy with gas mask up has a full beard... Uh, dude? That's not gonna work.

Post by **MrSlippyFist** » 13 Mar 2015, 11:41

Facial hair with pro mask isn't that huge of a problem when it's just CS. BIO/CHEM weapons, <profanity> yes you want pro mask, suit, tent, scuba gear.

Post by **panzermk2** » 13 Mar 2015, 12:35

MrSlippyFist wrote:Facial hair with pro mask isn't that huge of a problem when it's just CS. BIO/CHEM weapons, <profanity> yes you want pro mask, suit, tent, scuba gear.

:thumb:

Post by **MrSlippyFist** » 14 Mar 2015, 17:51

Jay probably spent more time in a MOPP suit than I ever did.

Post by **panzermk2** » 15 Mar 2015, 13:00

MrSlippyFist wrote:Jay probably spent more time in a MOPP suit than I ever did.

Nothing better then running around a 114F sand box in a tank in full MOPP gear.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 15 Mar 2015, 14:20

panzermk2 wrote:Nothing better then running around a 114F sand box in a tank in full MOPP gear.

Too bad you weren't with the British, then you could've had tea time in your tank :laugh:

Then again, using the flag as a table cloth? Bad form old chaps

Post by **Rapier1772** » 22 Mar 2015, 13:17

So most people don't know this about me, I was once engaged to a girl whom I no longer want anything to do with. We'd been living together a couple of years when we got a new neighbor. His name was Joseph, he was divorced & had a son, they seemed nice enough & would frequently talk to my girlfriend & I.
A few months later, my girlfriend got pregnant so we got engaged & started planning the wedding. A couple months later, she told me the truth, she'd been sleeping with Joseph. I was more than a little angry so I insisted on a paternity test (yes, you can do that before the kid is born). Sure enough, Joseph was about to have another child - with my now EX-fiance. As I was packing up & taking things to my truck, here comes Joseph. He started to talk to me but I swung instead, one shot to the eye dropped him cold. Must have done some damage because the next day he was wearing one of those cotton eye patches over it (yes, I did feel better).
Found out through a friend that Joseph & his boy had moved out about a month later - no forwarding address, no number, nothing. Recently, even my ex (the soon to be mother of his child) asked me if I knew anything about where Joseph was, which I didn't.
Anyway, the point is...
If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from cotton-eyed Joe?

Post by **blueorison** » 22 Mar 2015, 13:34

Rapier1772 wrote:So most people don't know this about me, I was once engaged to a girl I no longer want anything to do with. We'd been living together a couple of years when we got a new neighbor. His name was Joseph, he was divorced & had a son, they seemed nice enough & would frequently talk to my girlfriend & I.
A few months later, my girlfriend got pregnant so we got engaged & started planning the wedding. A couple months later, she told me the truth, she'd been sleeping with Joseph. I was more than a little angry so I insisted on a paternity test (yes, you can do that before the kid is born). Sure enough, Joseph was about to have another child - with my now EX-fiance. As I was packing up & taking things to my truck, here comes Joseph. He started to talk to me but I swung instead, one shot to the eye dropped him cold. Must have done some damage because the next day he was wearing one of those cotton eye patches over it (yes, I did feel better).
Found out through a friend that Joseph & his boy had moved out about a month later - no forwarding address, no number, nothing. Recently, even my ex (the soon to be mother of his child) asked me if I knew anything about where Joseph was, which I didn't.
Anyway, the point is...
If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from cotton-eyed Joe?

F*************************K that's so f'd up.

Thanks for sharing, D. I can't believe you can just laugh about it and post it under humor.

I would be so f****d-up if this happened to me. The past year was full of really bad memories with someone... it really destroyed a lot.

When you share your story like this, it reminds me if you can keep on going, so can I.

I'm so sorry.

She messed up. It wasn't your fault. Sometimes you can pursue her, make her feel loved, every waking moment of her life, buy her roses for no reason, and give her everything, and she will still take you and break you and corrupt everything you gave her and throw it back at you.

I hope one day you will find someone that will love you like you should be loved.

I've always enjoyed being single till she forced her way into my life and pursued me. I'll go back to enjoying being single.

On that note, here's a picture of my friend Becca and I. She's getting married, soon.

Keep being the best version of you

Post by **Rapier1772** » 22 Mar 2015, 17:48

Uh Blue, watch this & then reread that last line...

BTW, Becca's a babe, but then you're looking kinda cute too :p :monkey:
That's a joke too

Post by **blueorison** » 22 Mar 2015, 18:26

Haha, thanks, D.

I know what the cotton-eye'd joe is! I am a Texan!

It was just so depressing, that no matter the amount of sunshine, it hurt to read what you posted.

I hope you are faring better... I think I'm going to be pretty f'd up for a while... it was bad.

I can't imagine what you went through.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 22 Mar 2015, 18:35

The whole thing is a joke Blue. :lmao: That's why I put it in the humor thread. Sorry, didn't mean to stir up feelings.

If that had really happened to me, you guys would never hear about it - at least not on the forum. Especially the admitting to A&B part.
It came from a pic which had most of that in it, but it was small & hard to read so I typed it up instead of posting the pic.
Maybe putting the whole thing in a quote box will prevent further misunderstandings?

Post by **blueorison** » 22 Mar 2015, 18:51

It wasn't true?

Oh man, well, I'm glad it didn't happen to you, that would have been awful.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 23 Mar 2015, 06:56

I've done the cheating fiance bit but no pregnancy involved, I didn't hit the guy (woulda thanked him), and that was years ago. This one was just meant to be funny.

Post by **blueorison** » 23 Mar 2015, 14:17

Rapier1772 wrote:I've done the cheating fiance bit but no pregnancy involved, I didn't hit the guy (woulda thanked him), and that was years ago. This one was just meant to be funny.

See, I remembered!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 23 Mar 2015, 20:19

Post by **Rapier1772** » 23 Mar 2015, 20:27

Post by **Rapier1772** » 27 Mar 2015, 09:11

Post by **Rapier1772** » 27 Mar 2015, 09:21

Pranks:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 27 Mar 2015, 09:22

You might be a redneck if:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 29 Mar 2015, 18:44

Post by **Rapier1772** » 02 Apr 2015, 18:12

Middian · Post by **Middian** » 03 Apr 2015, 12:50

Who is going to take bets to see how long it takes his butt to cut a hole in the ice and fall in! =P

Post by **Rapier1772** » 05 Apr 2015, 22:50

When you skip leg day

Post by **Rapier1772** » 05 Apr 2015, 23:14

Close enough

Post by **Rapier1772** » 05 Apr 2015, 23:21

This would be awesome for halloween.

Point a light at it with some smoke-machine fog rolling through, small chemlights for the eyes.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 06 Apr 2015, 17:27

The guy goes up to strangers (supposedly) & gives a quick narration:

Mister Freeze · Post by **Mister Freeze** » 07 Apr 2015, 12:07

Win. Effin win.

Oldbindlestiff · Post by **Oldbindlestiff** » 08 Apr 2015, 07:46

:agree: actually laughed out load!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 10 Apr 2015, 13:56

Post by **Rapier1772** » 12 Apr 2015, 21:59

Most are strawberries of course, but hide a couple of chilis among them

Post by **MrSlippyFist** » 16 Apr 2015, 12:39

"And when I move my thumb, he talks!"

Post by **Rapier1772** » 16 Apr 2015, 15:40

That's PFM for bambam.

BTW, you pull a string to get bambam to talk.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 17 Apr 2015, 15:34

Math joke:
What do you get when you put root beer into a square glass?

Beer.

nrv216 · Post by **nrv216** » 17 Apr 2015, 19:35

I think this counts as a Canada joke. Watch the video and read the comments then somebody please tear this a-hole a new one....

nrv216

Post by **Rapier1772** » 17 Apr 2015, 20:28

Not funny, stupid. Bring back gun registration (for Canada)?

I posted a bit of a long winded response. Doubt it will do any good, he probably doesn't remember posting the vid 2 years ago. Oh well

Post by **Rapier1772** » 18 Apr 2015, 18:41

WTF?

Post by **Rapier1772** » 19 Apr 2015, 12:49

Post by **Rapier1772** » 20 Apr 2015, 13:08

Post by **Rapier1772** » 24 Apr 2015, 16:25

Post by **Rapier1772** » 26 Apr 2015, 05:49

Math humor:

I only got 4 of them
Snakes on a Plane, Independence Day
Mean girls, Blades of Glory
8 Mile, Transformers
Field of Dreams, Alpha and Omega
13th Floor, Sum of All Fears

Mister Freeze · Post by **Mister Freeze** » 27 Apr 2015, 05:22

Snakes on a Plane is all I got

DoubleJ · Post by **DoubleJ** » 27 Apr 2015, 15:51

Mister Freeze wrote:Snakes on a Plane is all I got

+1

Post by **Cyberfly** » 27 Apr 2015, 16:47

Post by **Rapier1772** » 27 Apr 2015, 21:37

I must be a freaking genie then, I thought the kilometer one was obvious. The summation ones required a little more thought but still not terribly difficult.
αΛω would have been easy but I forgot the name of the movie. :wall:

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 28 Apr 2015, 05:44

Rapier1772 wrote:I must be a freaking genie then, I thought the kilometer one was obvious. The summation ones required a little more thought but still not terribly difficult.
αΛω would have been easy but I forgot the name of the movie. :wall:

Snakes is pretty obvious. And Im +1 with you on the kilometer one.

The fourth one shouldn't be all that hard, the 7th one (D=...) is seems pretty obvious (unless I'm wrong - then it sucks). :laugh:

And the last one should be easy!

The others, not so much.

As always: YMMV.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 28 Apr 2015, 10:00

Some people go farther in math than others & some teachers consider this more important than that. I do remember going over the dream & 13 ones in math class but I haven't used them since so, chalk it up to discarded knowledge.
The sin & cos one though, we only did it this way for one class. In another class, we were taught a different way & that's the way I remember it.
I don't ever remember going over blades in math.

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 28 Apr 2015, 17:05

I didn't ever learn blades either, at least not that I can remember. But there are several (as in plural) in the picture all with the word Glory in them. Didn't need to use math to make an educated guess on that one.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 28 Apr 2015, 18:35

The only one I could think of was a WWI movie called Paths of Glory (Kirk Douglas). Didn't think that was it but I tried. :laugh:

Website · Post by **jgreenberg01** » 29 Apr 2015, 06:44

Rapier1772 wrote:The only one I could think of was a WWI movie called Paths of Glory (Kirk Douglas). Didn't think that was it but I tried. :laugh:

Nope. If you care to see the answer:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445934/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Sometimes funny, often EXTREMELY uncomfortable movie. Might be good for mathletes though

Post by **Rapier1772** » 29 Apr 2015, 07:01

jgreenberg01 wrote:Nope. If you care to see the answer:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445934/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Sometimes funny, often EXTREMELY uncomfortable movie. Might be good for mathletes though

I know the movie you are talking about but I'm not a Will Ferrell fan. Don't know what it is about that guy (other than stupid comedy) but when I see him in a movie, my reaction is similar to the one I get when obama speaks. <<shutter>>

Some stupid comedy I like (Supertroopers) & some I don't (Dumb & Dumber), but most of his are in the not column.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 29 Apr 2015, 07:03

Post by **Cyberfly** » 29 Apr 2015, 22:43

Yoda for the win!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 13 May 2015, 19:18

If I were to invest in garden gnomes but not zombie garden gnomes:
http://www.amazon.com/Big-Mouth-Toys-Ga ... B00JF8381G" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Post by **Rapier1772** » 15 May 2015, 17:55

Post by **Cyberfly** » 15 May 2015, 19:03

Rapier1772 wrote:

Bwahahahahaha!!! :lmao:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 25 May 2015, 17:42

People pay ridiculous amounts of money for caviar (aka fish eggs).
Women don't use all of the eggs their bodies produce right? So when a woman dies, we should harvest the unused eggs and sell them.

We could call it cadaviar.

Post by **panzermk2** » 25 May 2015, 22:53

Rapier1772 wrote:People pay ridiculous amounts of money for caviar (aka fish eggs).
Women don't use all of the eggs their bodies produce right? So when a woman dies, we should harvest the unused eggs and sell them.

We could call it cadaviar.

:lmao:

Post by **MrSlippyFist** » 26 May 2015, 19:20

Wash it down with some soylent lime-ade

Post by **Cyberfly** » 27 May 2015, 12:29

My first thought is, "Gee that's awfully SICK!"
My second thought is, "And these are people I call my friends."
My third thought is, "Pfft. Duh."

Post by **Ditch** » 02 Jun 2015, 03:36

Post by **Rapier1772** » 03 Jun 2015, 09:35

If a kid asks why it is raining, tell him/her/it that God is crying. When asked why God is crying, say "Because of what you did."

Post by **panzermk2** » 03 Jun 2015, 11:43

Hah I always tell mine the Angles saw what you did and are pissing on you.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 03 Jun 2015, 20:33

Post by **panzermk2** » 03 Jun 2015, 21:45

Rapier1772 wrote:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 06 Jun 2015, 23:11

Mister Freeze · Post by **Mister Freeze** » 07 Jun 2015, 06:15

Proper support!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 07 Jun 2015, 16:54

Awesome idea:

Post by **Rapier1772** » 18 Jun 2015, 08:06

Post by **Ditch** » 19 Jun 2015, 09:20

Post by **Rapier1772** » 19 Jun 2015, 11:26

:laugh: :lmao:

Post by **panzermk2** » 19 Jun 2015, 12:01

Ditch wrote:

Nice and stealing it.

Post by **Rapier1772** » 19 Jun 2015, 12:02

CPTKILLER · Post by **CPTKILLER** » 19 Jun 2015, 12:43

There is no humor to that at all!

Post by **Rapier1772** » 19 Jun 2015, 19:36

Did you read the whole thing? The business posting that sign is what makes it a funny.

CPTKILLER · Post by **CPTKILLER** » 20 Jun 2015, 11:46

I read it and got the joke but if you were an infantry company commander and sent a number of dead troopers home, you wouldn't laugh either.

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